i feel really lonely right now.
i cant stop thinking about my girlfriend.
i really do miss her so much. but im happy shes getting out on monday.
all i want right now is for her to hold me in her arms.
im feeling really depressed.
i cant stop crying.
i wish she would call me right now. i just want to hear her voice.
i feel really lonely right now.
Feeling really depressed right now.
I just wanna talk to her on the phone.
Got a letter from my gf.
And she told me that she has a date and a place picked out for when she proposes to me.
So I’m super excited.
I have one major thing to look forward to.
I’m going to be the future Mrs. Foster :)
I should be happy if she doesn’t call me….that means she got out of jail and is on her way to the recovery house.
But I’m sad…because I wanted so badly to hear her voice. And it means I gotta wait 30 days to talk to her again….
I cried to my mom about it. And she told me 30 days will fly by and before I know it, I’ll hear from her again. My mom also told me to stay strong and keep my head up.
Its hard to do…but I’m trying. Dear God I am trying……
ive decided to write in this orange notebook i got for my girlfriend.
im gonna write down my thoughts to her. or just my random thoughts i wish i could tell her. letters to her. quotes i find moving…lyrics to songs, poems, bible verses…anything pretty much. and when its time for me to move there, i’ll give it to her. that way she knows i never went a day without thinking about her. and even though i wasnt there next to her, i was here supporting her every step of the way.
im very hopeful that she’ll change and want to be clean and sober.
because i know im trying my hardest to quit drinking. it isnt easy. so i know it must be hard for her to quit meth. hell, i know its hard. ive dealt with this from the day i met her. i didnt know it at the time, but i know now. never in my wildest dreams did i think id fall in love with a meth addict. it isnt easy. but i love her. no matter what. i love her. i cant see my life with anyone else in this world :)
well. i gotta get going. hope you all enjoy your day.
Watching The L Word.
Makes me miss my girlfriend so much.
I wish I could kiss her n touch her…I wanna fuck her so bad…ugh…fn sucks.
i just got my last phone call from my girlfriend. havent heard her voice since monday. and we left the phone call on a bad note. so i was worried that she wouldnt call me today. so of course i cried when i heard her voice. she has drug court tomorrow and there is a good chance that she can get out tomorrow and start her residence at the woman’s house, chapter 5 recovery.
i pray she can stay clean and sober. because i want so badly for us to work out. and for her and i to spend the rest of our lives together. shes the love of my life. im planning on moving to prescott in like 6 months. i need to save my money and find a job. i wanted to work at walmart. so im gonna try to apply here in winslow and hopefully i can transfer to prescott.
so much to think about. but im strong, and can get through this.
i love jaclyn so much. i just hope she can stay clean. because this is her last chance.
anyways. i have a lot of my plate. i am also trying to stop drinking. and i want to go to aa meetings but im scared to go alone. theres a meeting that is going on at my old church. i think i might go to that one tonight.
John Mayer, Atlanta, 2010 (via flannel)
This made me cry…
Is it so horrible for me to call in and want a day off?
I find out yesterday from my gf in jail that shes been talking to her other gf crystal….
So forgive me for wanting time to myself. I just needed a day!!! One fn day….but no my coworkers go to my mom and my mom comes back home and yells at me.
Ugh. I need my own place.
I hate my life right now.